The Blanks That I Have To Undo

Depression.

Its sole purpose is to slowly kill you; tortuously and painfully.

I never had ever fully grasped the true meaning of this word until I came face to face with a situation that stopped my world spinning on its axis. It was as though the world had dropped off its hinges, holding no place in the universe.

That is exactly how I feel.

Insignificant.

Do you ever recall the feeling of falling?

Like there is a deep knot in your stomach and you just want to puke your guts out. It is pretty much similar to when you are in a roller coaster. I used to be scared of that feeling, so much. I cannot describe it.

Now I just know that there are worst thing out there. Now there are greater fears that lurk behind the shadows.

My life is a mess and I am pretty sure I am pretty close to being fully socially ostracized. Normalcy has long fled from my brain.

So being the self-claimed psychologist I am, I prescribed myself with depression.

It means I have severe feelings of despondency and dejection. I think so, I am not very sure.

So I guess now I can label myself as a mentally ill person and just locate a mental institute to situate myself in.

I feel that every single time I think only those horrible memories come to taunt at me.

This is crazy, I know.

But I can’t escape it.

I am trapped it this endless cycle of fear.