5-1 = 0

i sit at the table

and they change seats

me at the head

and they all near me

grace after grace

meal after meal

they ignore me

teal walls seem to be

more interesting

i kiss one goodnight

and give the other a hug

pat the forehead of the third

and watch over the fourth

unsurprised, no response

how long can this go on

surreal, unreal

i swear i am real

going feral in my own mind

chasing every reel of real

i know them the best

their irritations and their fondness

no one compares to me

don’t you dare jest

one likes to hate smoking,

scotch and whiskey are his best friends

he listens the most,

kisses the best

my brightest light

in my darkest days

my white knight

scaring all my ghosts away

two finds the greatest pleasure in building stuff from IKEA

he says not even sex beats that

unless, of course,

when he lays with me

the first to find me,

the first to make me laugh

the first to land a diamond ring

the king of my heart

he’s the one who made me a queen

three is abnormal

she has weird taste buds

but an awesome ass in leather pants

prideful and reckless

teasing and testing

seventeen piercings, seven tattoos

some pretty, some naughty

one for every year of the seven years together,

taking flight at the sweet age of seventeen

four is the worst

our relationship estranged

speaking only in glares and scowls and silence

he hated me and i hated him

it took a toll

but he finally showed me his bare soul

which was riddled with filthy ghouls

now, they bleed me dry

with their ignorance,

unforgiving, even against

my cries at the forced distance

house no more

a cage of bricks instead

with a festering hole

tearing through our heads

i see them leave

out the doors

never to return to these halls

where our photos adorn every wall

i reach out to grab a photo

my hand passes through

i slip in between the walls

speechless is what i am left

how can i expect them to heal,

when i am their rotting wound

a phantom pain

no longer their glue

after all this while

i finally understand

I am just a hollow soul

with no body attached